My Morning Mantra. I am beautiful, within and without. I am living a rich and abundant life.

Just like Mary J. Blige, I start my day with a mantra to help me focus on my many blessings, starting with myself. I even have a cologne called Beautiful. Every time I use it, I repeat the mantra above. I see the beauty in who I am today and appreciate my past—both the positive moments and the most challenging times. No regrets, no bitterness, just a better understanding of myself and others.

Forgiveness is a process. I’ve learned that it’s not always immediate just because I say or think the words, “I forgive…” Sometimes, I have to repeatedly reflect on how I or the other party arrived at a place where forgiveness is needed. Often, the phrase “hurt people hurt other people” comes to mind. I had to examine my part in the situation or the other party’s, until the feelings of shame, anger, fear, or any other emotions tied to that moment faded away.

I did the work, not always immediately after the event. Some of my experiences are from years ago, yet I carried the weight of them like a heavy bag. Sometimes, I didn’t even recognize how that weight was affecting my life. When I finally addressed my feelings and past experiences—whether through talking with a friend who let me express myself without judgment or advice, or through therapy, meditation, and journaling—I reached a breakthrough.

Hallelujah! I finally reached the point of forgiveness when thinking of those moments no longer triggered any emotions. I was able to let it go. I felt lighter. Holding on to all the pain, anger, and fear, and thinking of myself as a victim, was robbing me of my peace and my true beauty—accepting and loving myself.

I am truly beautiful, living an abundant life, not because of my clothes, hair, money, or social standing, but because I am so blessed and grateful for my life’s journey. I conclude my daily mantra with the ancestral and spiritual knowledge that my loved ones and spiritual guides are with me every day.

“I am loved, guided, protected, and obedient to my righteous spirit guide, my ancestors, and my spiritual loved ones.”

Now I go about my day with blessed assurance. Peace abide.